


Raphael Can't Play the Piano

by Marijke



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel Family, Brief Wing Horror, Brother fic, other characters mentioned briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 04:32:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2011038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marijke/pseuds/Marijke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the beginning, there was darkness. Then there was light.</p><p>Then there were brothers. Michael, leader of Heaven's host, Lucifer, morning star, Raphael, Heaven's healer, and Gabriel, the messenger of God. And of course, Castiel, the small angel that all four dote on against their better judgement.</p><p>One day, Lucifer made a piano. </p><p>Starting from the origin of the piano to the Angel Civil War, the story follows the relationship between the brothers and the piano (and gets a little side tracked.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Raphael Can't Play the Piano

**Author's Note:**

> I in no way own Supernatural.
> 
> At some point I refer to Castiel as the Angel of the Moon. I am aware that Castiel is the name of the Angel of Thursday. However, upon doing some research I learned that Castiel is based on Cassiel, the angel in charge of the moon.

Lucifer played beautifully. Of course, it had been Lucifer who'd decide to create the complicated instrument. So naturally, Lucifer was very good at playing the piano. He could play any piece that was written, from any style and from any mood. He moved through the music and left all listening emotionally raw.

Michael, who'd been delighted with the instrument, learned quickly. He never had the same fluidity as Lucifer, but his jarring playing style made even minor songs sound like a glorious anthem.

(Gabriel preferred to play the tuba, an instrument of his own invention.)

Raphael had tried to play the piano a few times. His melodies came out as horrid cacophonous patterns, and even though Michael would smile and compliment him whenever he played, Raphael knew that he was terrible. Raphael had wanted to get better at the piano, but his duties as heaven's healer were too time consuming to allow Raphael to practice.

\------

"What's this, Lucifer?" Michael asked the younger archangel. Lucifer had dragged him halfway across heaven to show him something. Even though travel was incredibly quick for angels, considering that they could teleport, Michael had been quite annoyed to have been interrupted.

Lucifer stopped in front of two large doors and turned to Michael, a wide grin on his face. He reached out to grab one of the doors, and as he pulled the door open, Michael looked into the room, trying to observe what Lucifer had wanted to show him.

"What is that?" Michael asked, clearly confused but unwilling to appear frustrated to his favorite brother.

"This is a piano," replied Lucifer, "It makes music."

Michael was still confused, so he asked, "How does it work?"

Lucifer smiled cheekily and walked over to the piano. Sitting down softly onto the stool, Lucifer lifted up the cover and brought his index finger down, playing middle C.

Michael reeled back, shocked for a moment at the strange sound that came out of the wooden contraption in front of him.

"How did you do that?"

"Lift up the cover."

Michael's state of mind still had not changed from confusion, but he did as Lucifer asked and walked over. He put his hands on the wooden top, and as he swung it up, he gasped.

Inside were rows and rows of metal strings of different thickness and small hammer like constructs. Lucifer hit middle C again, and Michael watched in awe as the hammer swung down, hitting the string and causing it to vibrate.

Lucifer, seeing Michael's reaction, smirked as he began to play a quick piece that ranged up and down the piano. Michael found himself caught in every hammer hit and every vibration, his focus flittering between his brother and the moving contraption before him.

Lucifer stopped suddenly. "I want to show Raph and Gabe. Join me?" Lucifer stood up and began to walk towards the doors, but Michael grabbed his wrist (or the equivalent for angels in their true form) and stopped him.

"Teach me to play."

Lucifer smiled and sat back down, patting the seat next to him.

\-----

"Michael, have you seen Gabriel?"

"I believe that he is hiding from us again."

"Damn. I really wanted to show him the piano."

"It's been two weeks! How hasn't he seen it yet?"

"I've been busy teaching Raph not to suck."

"And?"

"He's really sucky."

\-----

Lucifer wandered through heaven's hospital, clearly lost. Lucifer didn't understand the concept that "Some angels are practical and actually go for help when horribly injured!" Lucifer was fairly certain that Raphael was over reacting. Most angels have enough power to heal themselves.

Speaking of Rapheal, Lucifer couldn't find his little brother anywhere. However, if Lucifer harassed enough cupids working in the hospital, Raphael might come from wherever he may be to scold Lucifer.

(Lucifer might be older than him, but Raphael felt no shame in telling him off.)

Sure enough, after four cupids had fled from Lucifer, each in a state of distress, Lucifer felt Raphael's familiar presence appearing behind him.

"You really need to stop disturbing my workers. One of these days something bad's going to happen," Raphael said, looking down at his angel equivelant of nails, splaying his fingers in a disinterested way.

Lucifer turned back to him and smirked, "Like what? An angel will have to heal his own paper cut?" He slung his arm around Raphael, put him into a headlock, and gave him a noogie.

Raphael, fighting back fruitlessly, said, "What if one of the angels had been mortally wounded, and the cupid was too late to save them? How could they ever forgive themselves?"

"How would an angel become mortally wounded? What is there to fight?"

"Death has made some creatures."

"None of which are hostile. Now follow me; I've got something to show you."

Raphael, finally getting out of the headlock, backed away from Lucifer, "I'm too busy for this. Castiel managed to bust himself up again."

Lucifer scoffed, "Fledgelings. How'd he do it this time?"

"He tried to flying out of a tree. It is very hard to stay aloft when your wings are caught in between various branches."

"A tree? He needs help. But honesty, Raph? You're doting on him. Any old cupid could fix him in a split. You have time."

With that Lucifer began dragging Raphael out of and away from the hospital. Raphael resisted for a good minute, but eventually learned the futility of his struggles.

The stopped in front of a pair of large doors, like Lucifer and Michael had earlier that week. Lucifer all but pushed Raphael inside, and then proceeded to show off his creation.

It took Lucifer (and anyone else who hear Raphael's first piano playing attempt) years to remove the horrible sounds from his brain.

Lucifer told Raphael that he was awful, and the next day no cupid would heal the dark bruise on his cheek shaped like a hand. (And Lucifer would never admit to Raphael that he was horrible at healing himself.)

\-----

"Gabriel! I've been looking all over for you. There's something I want to show you!"

"Luci, I'm almost done. Give me one second."

"What are you doing?"

"I heard from Mike that you made music, so I was trying."

"That's, uh, lovely. Where's you instrument then?"

"Luci, I'm holding it!"

"You mean that twisted metal strangling machine is an instrument?"

"There is nothing wrong with my tuba!"

"It's called a tuba!?"

"Forget this, I'm not coming."

"Don't slam the door in my face!

\-----

Raphael stormed out of the piano room, his face flustered and his hands clenched.

"Assbutt keeps insulting me; I'll show him. I'll punch his face in next time I see him."

Gabriel heard angry threats coming from around the corner , and he quickly ducked into a room as to avoid whoever's wrath. Upon seeing it to be Raphael, he emerged.

He cleared his throat, "What's wrong, Raph?"

Raphael freezes and turned to face Gabriel, frustration trickling out of his face when he saw his younger brother. He sighed and walked to him.

"You know how Lucifer made a piano, right?"

Gabriel scoffed, "I know of the stupid thing."

"He keeps insulting my playing whenever I try, but he doesn't even bother trying to help me!"

Gabriel, who didn't feel quite ready to show his tuba to Raphael following Lucifer's reaction to it, searched for a way to console his brother.

"I could try to help. It can't be that hard."

"I thought that you didn't like the piano."

"I don't. But if you want to learn, why not."

Gabriel began dragging Raphael back to the piano room, which had been deserted by Lucifer after Raphael had left. Gabriel all but shoved Raphael down into the seat, and then he casually sat down next to him.

Gabriel put his hand down on the keys and said, "So, I believe that you press down-"

"I know how to; I'm just bad at making nice noises," Raphael interrupted.

Gabriel scoffed and said, "It can't be that bad."

"Yes, it really can."

Raphael began to play, and although it sounded horrid, Gabriel didn't mind. Instead, he laughed.

"I bet I can do worse."

Michael and Lucifer walked into Raphael and Gabriel playing a piano duet in different keys while laughing and almost falling off the piano seat. They looked at the laughing pair, looked at each other, and left.

\-----

All four of the brothers doted on their youngest brethren, Castiel. Even though Castiel wasn't yet at an age to remember fully everything they did, their affection had instilled a great love of them and a great loyalty to heaven inside of him. (He would lose both of these to two humans much later, but only God knew that.)

Michael used to bring Castiel to military meetings, hoping to insure the soldier inside of the fledgeling. Castiel was very interested in the discussions and had more often than not pointed out silly flaws in various strategies proposed by the military council.

(Michael was a firm believer in god, Justice, and the intuition of children.)

Lucifer would take Castiel with him to light up the sky at night. (This was only fitting, Lucifer being the morningstar and Castiel being the moon.) Castiel would laugh and swoon, flying gracefully in the clear sky. Lucifer loved the look of happiness Castiel developed whenever he was free flying in open space, and Lucifer loved to realize over and over again that when Castiel assumed his position as Angel of the Moon, he could do this every night.

Initially, Raphael had spent very little time with Castiel. Then, when he realized that the fledgeling had been throwing himself off of objects in order to meet the archangel, they began to actually talk. Raphael began teaching Castiel how to heal, and even though Castiel was made to be a soldier, he was a natural. Castiel would make frequent trips to the hospital and aid the cupids or simply talk to Raphael.

(Castiel taught Raphael how to relax. It was a much needed lesson.)

Gabriel had been the last to meet Castiel. When Castiel had been a fledgling, humans had not been made yet. Gabriel was to be God's messenger to the humans, so until they came into existence, Gabriel was content to find interesting things in Heaven and Earth.

Gabriel had nothing to teach Castiel, but still Castiel approached him. They'd bonded quickly, and Gabriel instilled a sense of freedom in Castiel. (He'd lost that as soon as he became an adult.)

\-----

Michael, despite how silly he looked carrying this smaller angel, felt empowered by the trust Castiel had put in him.  Castiel was sitting on Michael's shoulders and looking at everything in amazement as Michael carried him to "unknown location." Castiel loved surprises, so Michael was trying his best not give away their  
destination.

They rambled through heaven. Many of the angels stopped and stared at the peculiar sight of the commander carrying the youngest fledgeling, but others had seen these odd happenings before and simply ignored them or smiled warmly at the pair.

Michael stopped suddenly, far from the eyes of other angels. The angels could still sense their presence, of course, but Michael and Castiel were more alone than any angel could usually claim to be.

Michael began to let Castiel down crouching as far as he could. Castiel slid clumsily off Michael's shoulders and down his back and walked around so that they were facing each other.

Castiel asked, "Is something wrong, Mikey?"

Michael smiled at his nickname and responded, "No, Castiel. We're at our destination."

"But there's nothing here," Castiel replied confusedly.

"We're here." Michael pulled out two swords. Neither would badly injure either of them should either be hit, so Michael felt very comfortable handing the sword to Castiel.

Castiel looked at it in awe, then up to Michael in disbelief, "For me?"

Michael nodded and smiled before commanding, "Alright, we're going to learn some fencing."

Michael assumed first position, and thus began Castiel's  first fencing session.

\-----

"Castiel, I want you to know something."

"What's that, Lucifer?"

"You belong here."

"What do you mean?"

"You're so sweet and innocent, I can't think of any place other than heaven where you would belong."

"But where else is there to go, Luci?"

"Nowhere, Castiel. There's a place called Nowhere and it's a sad place full of suffering and loneliness."

"Luci? I don't want to go to Nowhere."

"Me neither, squirt."

.

.

.

"Stay then. You belong here too."

\-----

Gabriel was looking desperately for Castiel. Castiel had been the unfortunate witness of Lucifer's latest violent outburst. He'd run off crying, and the four archangels had dispersed, looking for the lost fledgling.

Gabriel reached out to Castiel with his grace and asked softly, "Where are you, Cas?"

He received no response for awhile, but much later he heard, "I'm in Nowhere."

"Cas, you're obviously somewhere.  I'm just trying to help." Gabriel sighed.

"No, I'm in Nowhere. Luci told me about it."

"He did?" Gabriel felt his metaphorical grace voice crack.

"He said it was a sad place with suffering and loneliness."

Gabriel felt a tug at his heart. Lucifer had confided in Castiel about his fear of falling. Gabriel has known that Lucifer was expecting consequences for his utter revilement of humans, but how could he expect to be cast out?

Gabriel took his time coming up with a reply to Castiel. He finally said, "I'm Nowhere too. I think most of us are right now."

"What do you mean?"

"Lucifer is," Gabriel paused, "frustrated. He doesn't know how to express his anger. Michael's trying to help him, but they end up fighting every time. Raph keeps trying to keep the peace, but I can't bring myself to watch. None of us are coping, but we didn't want to drag you into this."

There was silence.

"I'm in the garden."

\-----

"Mikey?"

"Yes, Castiel?"

"Have you seen Gabriel?"

"Castiel..."

"What's wrong?"

"Gabriel isn't with us anymore."

"Is he hiding?"

"Castiel, I, uh, yes. But he's trying really hard. It may take us awhile to find him ."

"Can I help? I like hide and seek."

"No, Castiel."

"Why not?"

"Because you can't!"

"S-sorry."

\-----

Then Lucifer fell. Michael cast him out. Raphael was angry at the both of them, and locked himself in the hospital all day for weeks, only leaving to look for Gabriel. Castiel barely understood what was going on, but he retreated into Nowhere for a very long time.

He found it strange that all of them could be in the same place, but all be so alone.

Well, it was a place of suffering and loneliness, so it was to be expected.

Michael played to piano constantly. It was a link to his lost brother, and all of heaven's host felt both sadness and joy when hearing the music, so Michael supposed it couldn't be that bad.

\-----

After awhile, things seemed to get better. Michael and Raphael were very busy, as they had to take on an extra archangel duty each. Michael dedicated himself to lighting the morning star, and Raphael solemnly delivered message when required.

Michael barely spoke to anyone, but he spoke to Raphael and Castiel more than to anyone else.

Raphael spent as much time with Michael and Castiel as possible, but fights began between the angels and Lucifer's newly formed demons. Raphael was far busier than anyone could have imagined.

(He also took it upon himself to heal the faithful when it was deserved, leading to a very busy schedule and constant trips between heaven and earth.)

Everything in heaven was far more solemn. Castiel slowly grew, and in time he became quieter and sadder. Soon he was at the age to join a garrison, something neither Michael nor Raphael were happy about. Castiel was, in their eyes, the last piece of innocence left from the happiness that had come from before Lucifer's fall and Gabriel's flight.

Michael did not want to lead him into battle. Raphael did not want to have to heal him.

\-----

Days were slipping by quickly for the general of heaven, each day the same monotonous tone filled with violence and suffering. Michael had been planning an angel retaliation plan for the off chance that mermaids were to invade heaven.

He laughed at the outlandish nature of the plan, but he'd already occupied himself with making legitimate plans and they'd come out as crap. He was practicing.

Then came the knock. Michael was hesitant to answer the door, unsure of who it was and unsure of who he would allow to bother him. After and moment of internal debate, he stride to the door and opened it.

Standing in the doorway was Castiel. In Castiel's hands was a stack of papers. Castiel shoved them at Michael and said quietly, "My registration."

Michael looked at him quizzically, for a moment forgetting himself and his purpose. He recalled his title at the same time he remembered that Castiel was to be a soldier.

A part of his mind argued that it was too soon. Castiel was barely older than a fledgeling, and Michael did not trust Castiel to be safe. Michael didn't trust himself not to react dramatically to papers in front of him.

Michael ended up accepting the stack of papers from Castiel and shooing him out the door before he had a chance to regret the action. He looked them over.

Castiel's neat handwriting bubbled across the page, filling in all of the required information. Michael made a mental note that Castiel left all unnecessary information blank.

Michael filed away the registration, the realization finally hitting him that Castiel was going to be a soldier. He felt a sense of pride, but he also felt overpowering sadness and regret. He wasn't quite sure what he regretted, but the feeling was there. It made him feel awful.

Raphael came to check on Michael not much later. He'd been visiting Michael at his job more and more frequently as time went by, possibly because Michael was getting more and more trapped within it. (So was Raphael, so this acted as a break for both of them.)

Michael was still messing with the filing when Raphael came in. Slowly shifting the paper between his hands, Michael was lost in thought and barely noticed Raphael's arrival.

"Michael, how have you been?" Raphael asked. He received a gentle shrug for his answer, and Raphael sighed.

"Something is troubling you. Would you care to tell me?"

Michael said nothing, just finally put the file into its correct place. Sliding the filing cabinet shut, Michael made to move back to his desk, but Raphael stopped him.

"Michael, what is wrong?"

There was a pause. Michael stood still Raphael's hands on his arms preventing him from moving Ina kind gesture. Raphael stared expectantly at Michael, and Michael, after another moment, gave up his somber silence and replied.

"Castiel is a soldier, as of a few minutes ago."

Raphael responded quietly, as though unsure, "That's," he paused, "good. He will be happy."

He slowly let go of Michael and glanced at the file cabinet. He looked back to Michael before teleporting away.

Michael pretended he couldn't hear Raphael's grace screaming.

\-----

"Camael, it was awful!"

"What was, Qaphsiel?"

"No one told you?

"Told me what?"

"Told you about Azazel and Castiel."

"No, what happened?"

"Azazel's fallen."

"What!?"

"He tried to rip off Castiel's wings. Castiel is in the hospital."

"That awful! What would Azazel try to do that?"

"You aren't in his garrison. He's horrible."

"Will Castiel get better though?"

"I don't know. I don't know if you can get better from that."

\-----

Castiel was rushed to hospital. As soon as he sensed his presence, Raphael flew straight to Castiel. He nearly reeled back at the sight. (Though, nowadays he wouldn't flinch. Things have gotten much worse.)

Castiel's wings were barely attached to his body, having been cut mostly through at the base. Raphael was panicking above him, assessing the injury and trying to figure out a way to heal him as quickly and as well as possible.

Raphael called over the cupid who'd brought him in and asked, "What are the extent if his injuries?"

The cupid frowned slightly and said, "It's not good. As you can see Azazel tried to cut off his wings, but he also has a multitude of injuries from the skirmish that happened between the two. Honestly, if Qaphsiel hadn't found him, Castiel would have died."

Raphael felt his heart become erratic, "And what of Azazel?"

"Father has stripped him of his grace. He lies with Lucifer now."

"Good. That snake needed company."

The cupid was surprised at Raphael's comment about Lucifer, as Raphael had been grieving over his fall not too log ago, but he said nothing.

Raphael put his hand on Castiel's back, between his wings. Raphael began to try and heal Castiel. All of his wounds closed and his wings started to reconnect-

Then Castiel writhed in pain and jerked away.

Raphael stopped immediately. He analyzed Castiel's body to try and see what had caused the pain, but he couldn't find anything. He started to heal Castiel, but Castiel jerked away in pain again.

Where Raphael had healed Castiel's wings the feathers had turned blue instead of Castiel's regular black. The feathers were awkward and too large compared to Castiel's, and Raphael realized in horror that the blue feathers matched his own.

Raphael couldn't heal Castiel's wings. Castiel would have to slowly grow in strength until his wings healed naturally.

During the long process, Raphael barely left Castiel. Raphael would heal any fatigue Castiel had, and he'd keep Castiel's wings from getting infected. Half the time Castiel was in too much pain to stay awake; the other half he was incoherent. Raphael stayed with him constantly, protecting him as a mother would her child.

Raphael would sometimes sing to Castiel. While he was awful at the piano, Raphael was an amazing singer, so all of the cupids enjoyed  drifting past Castiel's hospital room when Raphael was singing.

When Castiel's wings were finally  fully reattached, he had to go through physical therapy to regain full use of them. Castiel tries to rush the recovery process, and often he injured himself by over exerting his wings. Raphael had explained many times why he needed to recover slowly, but Castiel was incredibly stubborn.

One day, Raphael walked into Castiel's hospital room to find that he was no longer there.

Raphael raced through the hospital in a desperate attempt to find him, knocking into some cupids on the way and muttering apologies as he went.

He checked through Castiel's favorite places: the library, the observatory, and barracks. Raphael asked around to see if anyone had seen him, but no one had.

Finally, Raphael checked the garden. Castiel enjoyed the garden, though he didn't spend much time in it. He'd always appreciated the simple beauty in the flowers and trees, and, as Raphael reminded himself, it had plenty of space to fly.

Raphael raced around the garden, unable to find Castiel. He felt panicked, but he tried to remain calm so as not to lose focus. Raphael was about to give up in the garden and look elsewhere when he heard a yelp from above.

Castiel was standing in a window looking out into the garden. He was perched on the edge, prepared to jump. Raphael's stomach dropped, and he could hardly manage to shout to Castiel.

"Castiel, get down from there!"

Castiel panicked, caught, but said, "I think I can do it!"

"You're still healing; you'd be jumping to your death!"

Castiel didn't respond.

"Please, Castiel. I don't want anything to happen to you."

Castiel hesitated, but then he nodded. He started to turn back towards the inside.

His wing caught on the sill and he started to fall backwards.

Michael told Raphael and Castiel later that Raphael had tried to fly up and catch Castiel, but he'd been unable to carry him and they'd both fallen.

Neither of them remembered it, but both of them woke up in the hospital, so they took Michael's word for it.

\-----

"How's Castiel?"

"He's recovering. He might be able to fly by the end of the week."

"That's great news!"

"Michael, do you think something's wrong with him?"

"Why would you say that?"

"He keeps trying to prove himself, even when he doesn't have to. He's absorbed in whatever he does."

"How is that a bad thing?"

"He fights too hard, works too hard, and is going to get hurt."

"He's dedicated."

"He's consumed!"

"I think he's perfectly fine. You've been hanging out with that slacker Balthazar too much."

"Balthazar isn't a slacker!"

"Then why has someone been able to break into the weapons vault multiple times?"

"He's better than Lucifer and Gabriel!"

Slap

"What the fuck, Michael?"

"You will not talk about our  brothers like that again. "

"Lucifer's a traitor, and Gabriel's a deserter! What else am I supposed to say?"

"They're our brothers!"

"I don't care!"

.

 

"Raph, I think I know what's wrong with you."

"Nothing's wrong with-"

"You care so much. But you don't forgive anyone. Father believes in second chances."

"And Father is dead."

.

.

.

"Raphael, come back here!"

\-----

Raphael stormed through Heaven, looking for a certain human soul.

He found him in a room full of lights, bodies, and one of Raphael's worst nightmare's: dancing. Most of the people here weren't real, so Raphael didn't bother with avoiding them; he walked straight through them.

He stopped in front of a couple. They were making out so grotesquely, it made Raphael sick. He tapped one of them on the shoulder, hoping that the boy was an illusion like the others, that this was someone else's heaven.

The boy turned to look at Raphael, and Raphael teleported away.

He wasn't sure whether he was supposed to be angry or not. Adam Milligan was just a human. He was going to die anyway.

But he was going to be a doctor, damnit! He wasn't supposed to die until much later in his life! He was supposed to make groundbreaking research o the cause of cancer, eventually leading to a cute for most kinds of the mutation.

That wouldn't happen now. Damn Winchesters.

\-----

Raphael mourned when Castiel fell, but like all other times, his grief slowly turned to resentment.

Michael was panicked about the oncoming apocalypse, and while he felt a great sense of duty, he dreaded the fight with his still favorite brother.

Lucifer wasn't much better. He wasn't looking forward to fighting his still favorite brother. He was looking less forward to dying, as Revelations promised.

Gabriel was desperate to avoid the apocalypse, but hey, he wasn't able to do much since he was dead for most of it.

When the apocalypse ended, all of the brothers were conflicted. They all wanted it to be over, and they were so close to ending it all. At the same time, it was more time for all of them to be alive, although not together.

Raphael was alone. The piano sat neglected.

\-----

Raphael was too busy. He delegated when he could, but the duties of four archangels should be performed by one bitter archangel.

Angels came asking him about battle strategies and about combatting Hell. He answered them as well as he could, but he really did not know what he was doing.

Lucifer's job was small, but the significance held in the star meant if it weren't lit, there would be distress on Earth. Oh, what shall I wish on now? What star will guide me home?

Raphael had gotten fairly competent at doing Gabriel's job. He'd been doing it since Cain killed Abel, so it was to be expected. Gabriel's job wasn't terribly time consuming, so it want much a problem.

The hardest thing for him to deal with should have been the loss of his last brother. (He caused a massive heat wave in Russia out of anger and grief.)

But the aftermath of a failed apocalypse makes things do much worse than they should be.

Raphael was answering prayers constantly. He didn't know if it was out of duty or out of a longing for some sense of normalcy.

He spoke to many people, trying to help them remain faithful even as all of these horrible things were happening.

He was constantly making battle plans for fights against Hell, meddling humans, and traitorous angels (like Balthazar, the old slug.)

He lit Lucifer's star every night.

As time progressed, Raphael floundered. His duties were overwhelming. He never rested, and though Angela never get tired, he began to become frazzled and distressed. He was quick to anger and stressed over every minute problem.

Then, he started slipping.

The morning star didn't shine for days in a row. He was able to keep track of all of Heaven's armies, give the word of God, and heal all those who deserved it, but on Earth, humans were dumbfounded and distressed by their missing morning star.

He lit the morning star, but his duties as the leader of Heaven's host were neglected. Uriel tried to step in, but after seeing his bullshit job, Raphael took back over.

As a result, he lost track of who he was supposed to give the word of God to and when. Faith was slowly lost on Earth, and all of Heaven suffered.

So, Raphael stopped lighting the morning star.

It continued in a vicious cycle, never getting any better, only spiraling down into a pit of self loathing and bitterness.

He never truly lost his head at anyone, however. He could never being himself to act on his anger through his grief. He wouldn't attack Castiel. He'd pretend not to notice Gabriel. He wouldn't be angry at Michael and Lucifer. He put up a cold front, but most of the cupids could see through it.

Then, there was a man. He'd been a faithful servant to God for all of his life, even through his worst struggles. He'd donated his money when he could, and his time when he couldn't. He'd contracted the West Nile Virus and was slowly dying.

Raphael had tried so hard to cure him. But he never found time.

The man went to Heaven, and Raphael snapped.

He became his cold front. He cared not for humans anymore. He felt worthless as Heavens healer, so he did not try.

That day, the host was shocked out of its stupor. There was a horrible noise resonating through Heaven, familiar and horrible yet pleasing and right.

Raphael was playing the piano. It was off and sounded more like randomly pressed notes than a song, but the host did not need a ballad or a tune. Raphael coursed his frustration through the piano, and the host grieved with him.

When he finished, Raphael destroyed the piano, and then the music was gone.


End file.
